When my daughter was around 3 years of age I would ask her what she was doing. She would simply look up at me and say, “I’m busy, busy, busy.” That’s how I feel daily. But busy doing what? Am I busy becoming the woman I have always wanted to be? Or lost in the chaos of busyness?
This year I don’t want to spin I want to grow. In order to grow I will need to just stop. Focus. Regain my heart. Somewhere I have learned that it is wrong to be self absorbed, but in order for me to grow I will need to stop long enough to figure out where I am and who I have become and where do I want to go.
To accomplish this I have got to restore order first. I can’t think when things are messy. Laundry piled up, dishes in the sink and stacks of paper on my desk. Every day I start with going around and straightening things up before I can begin my day. The same needs to happen tackling the bigger picture of my life.
Today I am going to stop some things. Take inventory of what activities I can stop for a little while and ask for the support of my friends and family to support the decisions. I can be room mom , coach or council woman again later. Study the life of Christ. He was never on the verge of passionlessness. Before and after heavy periods of activities He took the time to replenish the inner energy it took to carry out His mission.
My New Year’s resolution is to step back and find my heart. To let God help me walk out of numb activity and back into life. I want to turn down the constant noise in my life so I can hear Him talking to me. During the next couple of months I am going to begin to revive. Come spring I will be able to feel fresh and renewed and able to be again the woman God intended for me to be.
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